Samaya

FREEDOM!!

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much to deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

SNICKER. I SWEAR I don't make this shit up!!!

macon101
56 minutes ago
I like good wine, I like to make nice food, adore stimulating conversation.i enjoy the arts & am.glad of my 2 dogs. I truly believe I have a lot to be thankful for including my work & am ready to share life with someone special....is that you?

Samaya
20 minutes ago
But do you ride?
See More
macon101
7 minutes ago
yes i do but i dont own a ride but a Ferrari car and you?

Samaya
6 seconds ago
A Ferrari. Really. Got a picture?

macon1019
seconds ago
yes i can not share it on here let me have your phone number or email address i will send it to you.

Samaya4
seconds ago
You're a funny guy. You can certainly post it to your page.

macon10138
seconds ago
sorry i do not have the pic on my tab but on phone

Samaya
6 seconds ago
Haha - you are smart enough and well off enough to own a ferrari but you can't upload a pic from your phone to BON. Macon, macon, macon are you pulling my leg. It's not nice to fib. I bet you own a Kia.

Uh oh - I think I hurt his feelings. I'm getting crickets....

*sigh*

Hmmmm - what song on the iPod today. Time to drown out 'the noise' - Let's see. This seems fitting. LMFAO

is a fan of R U out There,.. So tired of looking!!!.

And it continues:
Ryan9 hours agoPlease tell me about you! Like your name, what you are looking for, What do you do for living And how long you have been on here? Hope too much questions not make you upset?

Samaya4 seconds agoI'm so glad to hear from you again Ryan. My name is Agnes. I've been mainly looking for my glasses this morning. I'm an heiress - with a rather large trust fund so mainly I just spend my Daddy's money. I've been on here for a short time. Haven't met many people. They're all so unfriendly. Oh, I'm not upset - at all.

Crazy Scammer Conversations:

Ryan
13 hours ago
Hi, how are you doing, I like your pictures and hope we can get to know each other if you don't mind

Samaya
8 hours ago
Id like to put an ice pick in your eye, if you don’t mind.

Ryan
3 hours ago
Oh really? Can we get to know each other if you don't mind?

Samaya
59 minutes ago
Sure, what would you like to know about ice picks?

Update: In order to ‘understand’ - I need to give a brief history. See More
I had a cervical fusion of C3-4 and C5-6 back in Dec 2006. There were 2 ‘plates’ and 6 screws placed in my neck. Unfortunately a fall in 2007 caused 2 screws to break entirely, making the fusion ‘drop’ but – it did in fact fuse. This makes that area of my neck immobile. But, what it ‘means’ is that it puts more ‘pressure’ on my other disks and makes them absorb any impact.

I’ve been being ‘monitored’ since 2007. I have more movement in my C2-3 disk than I should. This is nothing new. So, anyone can get in a car or bike wreck, trip down stairs or whatever and can be paralyzed by it – BUT – I have an increased risk factor. Again, nothing new.

The need for more surgery has been a question of when, not if. But, because it wasn’t today, I’ve mainly stayed in denial – knowing in the back of my mind where I refused to look, that someday would be ‘today’ – but since it wasn’t today – I just lived my life.

Again, this is nothing new – I’ve been ‘riding’ all this time and most of you didn’t even know about this. I’ve already spoken of my ‘need’ to ride, what it means to and I simply can’t (or won’t) give it up.

So - The bad news: The accident didn’t do my neck any favors. No real surprise. My neck is sore. The muscles are trying to compensate. They hurt. There is fluid around my disks. The body produces fluid to cushion an injury. My neck in the Doctors words is, “A hot mess”.

What does this mean? Well – the short answer is – I still don’t know.

The current movement in my neck does NOT mean I MUST have surgery – today. BUT as my neck heals and the fluid reduces, the movement could increase to a point where I have to have it ‘now’. I have a follow up for more X-Rays in May – we shall see then. So, I’m not in the clear - yet.

And now – the good news.

The bottom line? I am ‘allowed’ to ‘do’ whatever my body feels ‘up to’ doing.

I was honest with my Doctor. I showed up without the cervical collar I stopped wearing about 4-5 days ago because it hurt worse to keep my neck stiff. Stretching felt better and well, I know my own body. I’ve lived in it all these years. I didn’t even get ‘yelled’ at for not wearing it. Actually he said, I probably didn’t need it….but well you know how Docs are – so once again way to go for my own intuition in taking it off and stretching and icing my neck instead.

I’ve been released to drive. I’m released to ride ‘on the back’ and when I feel up to it…it’s up to me – I’m released to ride my own. All of this is of course with the Doctor realizing my personality – he’s known me 12 years – my stubbornness, who I am, what riding means and – that no matter what, I’m going to get on a bike sooner or later … so while I’m at an ‘increased risk’, I always have been and getting back on sooner isn’t going to make any different than getting on later.

I just have one question. When are we riding?

Sam out

Sooo - I didn't want to worry anyone so I hadn't said anything publically. But I was concerned I might have had a blood clot form due to the trauma in my leg. There's been a nasty 'bump' that didn't seem to want to 'go down'. The leg was achy and I was getting more and more concerned so I went to the Doctor again today.

Good news.
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It's just a really nasty hematoma. Heat and elevation are the prescribed 'medication'. Knowing it isn't a clot just knocked my anxiety level back to 'normal'. I am so filled with gratitude - onward and upward with this healing stuff. I wanna ride!!

I have an appointment with the Osteopath tomorrow. I'm hoping I can be released to drive and/or at least be released to be on a backseat now and again. If I can't ride my own for a bit - I'd be a 'backrest' and a few friends have offered. THANK YOU!

Thank you to everyone for continuing to think of me, check in on me and pray for me. It means - everything.

is a fan of Men with Bad Boy looks, but really are Gentlemen :).

Gawds but I love music and lyrics....

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one
I will take my life into my hands See More
And I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes
And I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
Oh, after all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why

Talk is talk, action is action.

I've said I 'needed' to give up soda - but I kept drinking it. I've said I wanted to lose weight - but I preferred eating things that taste great but aren't the healthiest choices.
See More
When you get a second chance it changes your perspective - makes you want to treat yourself better out of sheer gratitude for the realization how fragile and precious your life is.

I really AM giving up soda. Today is only day 2 but i made it through yesterday without even wanting it because my resolve is finally strong. Once it is really 'given' up - I will allow it on the very rare occasion if I'm out - but I won't have it in my home and who knows, I may find I don't want it once the addiction is broken.

I am 11 pounds in (I've lost 11) of the ultimate 27 total I want to take off. That isn't quite half way, but I tried on a dress today - and it fit. It didn't before.

I might be 'down' and healing from injury, but my mind is stronger than ever and I'm using this time to work on some personal goals.

Note: I'm saying this publically because it forces me to stay accountible.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled day.

Sam out

It's FRRRRRIDAY!!!!!!

Father tell me, we get what we deserve
Oh we get what we deserve
And way down we go
Way down we go
Say way down we go
Way down we go
You let your feet run wild
Time has come as we all oh, go down
Yeah but for the fall oh, my
Do you dare to look him right in the eyes?
'Cause they will run you down, down til the dark See More
Yes and they will run you down, down til you fall
And they will run you down, down til you go
Yeah so you can't crawl no more
And way down we go
Way down we go
Say way down we go
'Cause they will run you down, down til you fall
Way down we go