Trigger1964

Dear Tech Support,
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Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?



Signed, Desperate



The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.



However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.



In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.



Good Luck!

Tech Support Team

Please!

I love your new profile pic. You two look marvelous together. Much love & respect, A.

I'm ready for these types of nights

How many BONers do you have blocked from here? I have blocked 15

How long until spring?

Yesterday morning I left the house headed to Seattle over two mountain passes

We found a new watering hole. If the bartender is cooking or running the store then you can go behind the bar get your own beer and mark it on your tab.

Got this from 86 Club president;
Due to the iffy rain/snow weather conditions on Saturday we are postponing the PJ Run. Ken is going in for surgery on Tuesday so we will also need to find another road captain. I am happy to do it but don't have my bike back yet but will soon. Our next meeting is on March 8th so I would like to reorganize the ride at that time.

This is one of my Bartenders.
Now you understand why I drink so much

For those who are close to The Red Dog Saloon
Girls Night Out, the #1 Ladies Night Event Is Coming to Maple Valley on Friday February 22nd! Limited Tickets On Sale NOW!

Purchase tickets online @ tickets.girlsnightouttheshow.com/tickets/the-red-dog-saloon-21-150672#buy

is a fan of No. 1.5.

I'm a biker, please understand...I have a whip on my clutch lever, a knife on my side! See More
The 3 car lengths I leave between the car in front of me isn't for you to cut me off! Contrary to popular belief, I can't stop my bike on a dime! If you see me coming down the road while you're waiting to pull out from your driveway or an intersecting road, I'm going faster than you think, so please wait those few extra seconds to let me pass you by...If you're trying to make a right turn on red, don't do it in front of me, you don't have the right of way!
I speed up, when in your blind spot, not to race, but so you see me!
Don't try to pass me on the right just to cut me off, I guarantee my bike is faster than that piece of shit Hybrid you bought to save the ecological system for your grandchildren! You know the Hybrid you drive 90 MPH, thinking y'all are saving the universe.
I ride in the left lane, 10-15 MPH over the speed limit so I only have to worry about asshats like you on my right side.
Please put your phone down, and STOP TEXTING, because the life you jeopardize is MINE and if that's a problem for you, remember my whip and other 2 friends.
My bike is loud so you deaf sonsabitches can hear me coming.
When making a lane change, the manufacturer of that Hybrid you bought installed little devices known as MIRRORS and TURN SIGNALS, so I strongly suggest that you use them every time and also, don't be afraid to give a quick look over your shoulder before you barge into the lane I possess.
I ride with my high beams on at all times so you blind asses can see me day and night, so don't flash your high beams at me.
When I grab my whip that's just a warning and if you take notice you'll never have to meet my knife or my Lil Friend!
I have a roll of pennies unleashed in my vest pocket! If you continue to jeopardize my life, you'll receive what is known as "pennies from heaven" and if they should happen to fall out of said pocket, you'll be making an appointment at your friendly, local body shop, and you'll know the tune to "Safelite" and will be singing it in your sleep...you know the one, "Safelite repair, Safelite replace"...
So watch out for me and all my Brothers and Sisters, every time you are on the road... Better yet, make it a habit and we'll all be better off!
Safelite repair, Safelite replace, betcha are singing that song now huh?
Biker

Good morning BONers have a good Tuesday. 4 more days until the 86 Club Pajama Run. Get your bikes ready but cages are welcome too. Feb. 23rd

We made it back to Washington State

Our President Donald Trump is in the Rose Garden giving his speech about boarder security. Build the Wall

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V-day is coming so get ready