ralphharley
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DANGEROUS CURVES AHEAD
4/10/2020 5:00 PM

Funny and Sarcastic
4/22/2020 5:00 PM

Coffee, Chocolate, and Wine
5/26/2020 5:00 PM

The great outdoors
8/13/2020 5:00 PM

ralphharley

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Male, 80 years old, and single/divorced.  Birthday is July 17, 1940.  Owns a 1998 Harley-Davidson® Police Road King® FLHPI and 2 other bikes.  Interested in females.  Looking for friends, riding partners, or a relationship.  Religious view is spiritual.  Doesn't drink.  Lives in Denham Springs, Louisiana  United States.  Member since September 2011.  Last online today.

I watch Laramie & Tales of Wells Fargo almost everyday on t.v, rode horses in my early years, nothing I like better than a good western movie but what amazes me is you see all the horses tied to a hitchrail in a town but you never see a horse turd on the ground, just something for y'll to think about!
A driver for Red Ball Delivery had to take his annual physical, all the doctor could find wrong was that his balls were turning brown. He went home & walked in, he & his wife had 6 kids born just over a year apart. He looked around & said, what the hell is going on, this place is in shambles, toys scatted everywhere, kids crying, a couple of them have on wet diapers, it's 6 o'clock & my supper ain't...See More on the table. His wife said that she'd been so busy picking up after kids & changing them, washing clothes, sewing that she hasn't had time to wipe her ass in a week. He said, that's another damn thing we have to talk about!
I blame our government for 9/11, they let the assholes come to the U.S., taught them to fly just enough to fly the planes into the building, they didn't need to know how to take off or land it & that's just one reason I voted for Trump & will again, he wants to keep them out of the U.S., anyone that may cause a problem to our way of life. He has done good in his four years.
The difference in kinky & perverted is, kinky when you use a feather to tickle your girl friend's coochie but perverted is when you use the whole chicken!
"Sooner or later all good things come to an end" I called Coyote yesterday & after 20 years he's not going to have his "Harleyween" get together at his shop in Baton Rouge anymore. A big cook out, bikers were in & out all day & got to meet bikers, exchange different ideas on bikes. I enjoyed & looked forward to the last Saturday of Oct. & the Harleyween Shindig!
I rode over to a friend's home today & was surprised to see him with a black eye. I asked him who did he have a fight with. He said it wasn't a fight, he was kissing his wife good night & her garter belt broke!
"Something to think about" When you get ready to go to bed with each other, you will help each other undress, when you finish & get out of bed you will dress yourself. The bottom line is, Once you're F#@ked, nobody cares!
Only a Biker ...
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen? See More
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one & my opinion of Joe Biden running for president needs to realize he's just pissing in the wind. All of his years in gongress he has done for this country exactly what panty hose has done for finger F^#king!
Some years ago I had a motorcycle shop at home, had a female partner by the name of Helen Wait. If someone wanted work done on credit I'd tell them to go to Helen Wait!
On a country fram every day the rooster would jump a ditch of water, go to the barn & eat his fill of corn. The cat decided to jump the ditch, go to the barn & catch a few mice but he didn't make the jump, fell in the ditch & got all wet. The rooster laughed his ass off, the moral of the story is a wet pussy makes a happy cock!
Question- What happened when a whorehouse caught on fire? Answer- Some people came running & some people run cumming!
I wrote a little song called "The red ruffled drawers that Hillary wore" goes like this. Oh the red ruffled drawers that Hillary wore, well she hung-em on the line & the sun refused to shine, the red ruffled drawers that Hillary wore. She threw-em at the wall, they stuck & wouldn't fall, the red ruffled drawers that Hillary wore, she threw-em on the ground & they killed the grass for miles...See More around, the red ruffled drawers that Hillary wore. Well she threw-em in the yard & all the dogs raised a hard, the red ruffled drawers that Hillary wore, they were wrinkled & they split & the seat was full of shit, the red ruffled drawers that Hillary wore.
Down by the sea side where nobody goes sat Mary without any clothes, along came Johnny swinging a chain, down a zipper & out it came. ( You can use your imagination on what happened next)
The movie "Full Metal Jackets" comes close to the Real Thing, President Trump should pass a law that all protesters & rioters can be captured & put thru Marine Boot Camp. You can bet your ass they will have a different attitude & out look on life!
I think we all know people like this & will change horses in the middle of a stream. During the war a Rebel private was captured & made a POW, he'd say, we beat the hell out of you yankee's at Bull Run, it went on & on. One day the commanding officer told him if he'd quit saying it he'd make him a sergeant in the union army & give him $500.00, okay he said, always wanted to be a sergeant. About a week later the commander aked him how he like his new army & rank, fine he said but those Rebel's sure beat the hell out of us at Bull Run huh?
A man moved from Texas to Alaska to become a citizen of the largest state in the union. Two men that lived in Alaska took him to their cabin & told him it was 3 things he had to do, #1 he had to drink s 5th of whiskey straight, #2 he had to screw an eskimo woman #3 kill a grizzly bear. He drank the whiskey & left the cabin, came back a couple hours later, he was scratched up, bleeding some, clothes tore up & asked, where the hell is the eskimo woman y'all want me too kill?
Why the hell not June?? As a matter of fact...how about right here and now?? Screw the neighbors and the kids!! Lets put on a real show for em'!! Whada'ya say?? "Oh Ward...I just love it when you get romantic like this"!! (i) { } ]:-) ;) :))


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