ralphharley

"Pay Back" A driver was found guilty in traffic court, When asked for her occupation, she said she was a school teacher. The judge rose from the bench & said, "Ma'am", I've waited years for a school teacher too appear before this court. Please sit down at that table & write, "I will not run a red light" 500 times !

I know there is a God & he loves me, the wind from the hurricane blew the canopy off of my Harley, "Ole Red Gal" a tree & limbs fell close to her, she got wet from the rain but the ole gal came to life as soon as I hit the starter button, Thank you Jesus & God, she never got a scratch!

I got power back Sunday, internet, cablevision & telephone back today.

to all Ralphharley friends it will be a good time before he will be back on, he is okay but his place is tore up ,he can't get out or in his place for down trees, trailer house was hit, I brought one of my generator and some gas check on him every day

ARE YOU OKAY

We'd be in a world of trouble if we'd had a president like Biden when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor December 7, 1942 or when the atomic bombs were dropped on Japan in 1945, back then presidents had balls, Trump was the last one that had a pair!

I've always heard that the proper thing too do is kiss whoever you might be screwing at the time & I think that means Pres. Joe Biden owes everyone in the U.S. a kiss

A man's wife caught him cheating on her & told him if he did again she was leaving him. A few months later she caught him with a female midget & said she was leaving him for good. He replied, Ah hell don't leave, you can see I'm tapering off !

A man woke up 1 morning & there was a bear on his roof, he got the phone book & found a Bear Removal Service. He call & the man said he'd be right over. He showed up with a ladder, a cage, a baseball bat, a mean looking pit bull dog & a shotgun. Said to the home owner, I'll explain what I'm going too do, I'll use the ladder to get on the roof & the bat to knock the bear off of the roof, my pit...See More bull will grab the bear by his balls & hold him until I can get down from the roof & put him in the cage. He asked, what is the shotgun for? That's for you he said, in case the bear knocks me off the roof you shoot the dog!

I'll never understand why the goofy jerks on bon get scammed & when some one else joins bon they call them a scammer not even knowing the person that's joining, can it be the accusers have a guilty feeling for being ignorant ?

Give up our guns, I don't think so, I'm a firm believer that our Good Lord made big men & made small men too but Sam Colt made them equal !

A tough old biker told his grandson that the secret to a long life is to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously every morning & lived to be 97. When he died, he left behind 14 children, 27 grandchildren, 34 great grandchildren & a 15 foot hole in the crematorium wall !

Thank you Joe, I topped off my tank today, $9.72 for 2.7 gallons of gas!

I watched a movie on t.v & was supposed to have adult situations in it, showed a little hugging & kissing but no adult situations like the husband busting ass on the job to make a living for his family, mowing the lawn, trimming hedges or changing the baby's wet diaper because his wife was cooking supper or her cooking, baking, washing clothes & ironing them, mopping & waxing floors, & cleaning house in general, that's what I call adult situations!

Nice photo and sweet ride

This is a good one :)) One day a man decided to retire... He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief,...See More he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my fishing boat sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. " On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in a volcanic vent I found just down island, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small hand built wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down." "Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice." "Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Jack Daniels neat?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs." No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but a bandana around her blonde locks and some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of coconut oil. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you had a really good ride?" She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, "You've built a Harley?"

a company of soldiers were getting a pep talk from a Colonel in Vietnam when a young soldier asked him about jungle warfare. Nothing too it he said, just yell at Charlie Cong, Ho Chi Minh is a no good son of a bitch, it'll piss Charlie off & when he jumps up from hiding, you shoot him. A week later the Colonel was visiting wounded in the hospital & it was a soldier all bandaged up, a leg & arm in a cast...See More & a Vietnamese with the same wounds. He asked a Doctor what had happened too the two, he replied, the young soldier yelled at the Vietnamese, Ho Chi Minth is a no good son of a bitch, Charlie Cong yelled back, L.B.J is a no good motherfucker, they were standing in the road shaking hands & a jeep ran over both of them!

I keep hearing about "The good old days"? & it reminds me of a little song I once heard. Please don't tear the little building down, there's not another like it in the whole town. It was not so long ago I went tripping through the snow to the little building out behind the ole home place, where I sit me down too rest like a snow bird on his nest & read the Sears & Roebuck catalog.

I read a lot about the dog style position here but don't see anything about the semi dog style position, the difference is with semi dog style is there is no smelling & licking!