ralphharley

Confusion is "Father Day" in Scotlandville, LA. ( all blacks live there)

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. See More
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and just cover your own !!!
You'll be a lot happier and live longer!

is attending Funny and Sarcastic.

Before I retired we used to call Thursday "Payday Eve"!

A woman was to be operated on for a hysterectomy & didn't have a lot of time to be away from home, just before they put her under she told the doctor too make it "Snappy"!

President Biden wears a wig now, he told his ole lady too shave her pussy & when he woke up the next morning, he was bald headed!

I think for a president Joe Biden is about is about as useful as a peg leg man at an ass kicking contest !

It's an old one but a lot of truth in it. A biker in his yard with his young son & 2 dogs next door was getting it on, what are they doing? asked the son. Not wanting to go into details with his young son he said, the dog on top hurt his foot & the dog on bottom is helping him home. That's about right Pop, said the son, try to help somebody & they will fuck you every time!

is a fan of Where's all the kinky ladies at.

One woman told the other that she had 3 or 4 drinks a day & if she drank too. No she replied, alcohol was bad for her legs. Makes them swell the other woman asked? NO she said, makes them spread.

....

I topped off my gas tank today, had a half tank, 2.6 gallons filled it, $7.18 for the gas, my thanks too Biden & all the M-F,ing assholes that voted for him!

My ex asked me one night to whisper some soft, sweet & sexy to her. I replied okay, I'm an idling Harley at 850 rpm's, k-thug, k-thug, k-thug & that's when all hell broke loose!

is attending Black and White Erotic Photography.

A woman bought a deodorant stick, directions read "push up bottom", she did & when she farted it didn't stink & smelled good!

Thanks for the b-day wishes. :)

My neighbors are complaining about my dog chasing men & women on a motorcycle, that's a damn lie, my dog doesn't own a motorcycle, he couldn't ride it if he did !

Some people just have no sense of humor I was watching the movie "Jaws" with a lady friend, in the beginning a sexy woman in a red bathing suit was swimming & Jaws was headed toward her under the water. Vera said, look, that shark is going to eat that woman. I replied, I don't hold it against the shark, any shark in his right mind would eat that fine thing, I know I would & I'm not even a shark & that's when all hell broke loose, hee hee, smile.