ralphharley

Today Oct. 1st. is kind of an anniversary for me, 16 years ago a woman cut in front of me, said she "Didn't see the motorcycle" & damn near took me out. I was in the hospital a month & got home Nov. 1st. Almost lost my right leg, have plates & screws in it but I thank our Good Lord that I manage too still ride, have to help my leg over my bike but I still ride. It cost Medicare & Dept. of...See More Veteran's Affair $170,000.00 to keep my leg for me. One doctor suggested taking it off above my knee, my son told him to wake me up & see what I wanted because he wasn't signing a damn thing! I was down 8 months & riding again.

A rooster says cock a doddle do & a old hen says any ole cock will do!

Now this woman is HOTTTTT

You know I do!

A man was standing on a street corner waiting for a city bus when a woman came up with a little dog on a leash, the man jumped back & the lady said, he's just a little dog & he doesn't bite, he said, ma'am I'm not worried about him bitting me but the way he had his back leg cocked up I was afraid he was going to "kick" me!

"An old one but kind of cute" The first day of school the first grade teacher went to the the principal's office & told him that she had a boy that was so smart she thought he should start in the second grade & they went to her 1st. grade classroom. Stand up by you desk Jimmy, she said & I'm going to ask you to ask you 3 questions, answer them for the principal & I. What do horses do...See More standing up that people do laying down? Sleep he said #2 What do animals do standing up that people do sitting down? Eat he said #3 What does a woman do sitting down that a man does standing up? Shake hands, he replied. See how smart he is she said to the principal. Principal said, Ahh Hell, start him in the third grade, I missed all 3 questions!

Scammers never give up, today is the 3rd day in a row I got a phone call from supposedly PCH that I've won 18.5 millions dollars, all I had too do is go to Greenway or Walmart & buy a $300.00 gift card but I laughed at him again & told him too shove it up his ass, I don't believe him.

is a fan of Women that love wrapping their legs around a man ;).

I rode over to Lafayette t o vist with a Cajun friend, his wife had twin babies, a girl & a boy, she wanted her brother to name the babies, being a new uncle he named the girl Denise & the boy Da-nephew.

It depends where your mind is at but the first dirty words spoke on t.v were when on Leave it to Beaver, Mrs. Cleaver told her husband, Ward, you were kind of hard on the Beaver last night!

A third grade teacher asked a biker's son how to spell straight, He replied S_T_R_A_I_G_H_T, Very good & that's right, now what does it mean? He replied, without water & no chaser!

Sign in a restroom of a sex change clinic" We may never piss this way again"!

A biker carried his new bride over the threshold of their honeymoon suite & as he was undressing her he spotted unshaven bushes of hair sproting from under her armpits. Hot Damn he said excited, "Two More"!

I received a phone call today from a scammer that I won 2.2 million dollars & a new Mercedes car & too get a $400.00 gift card & send it. I told him to bring me the check & the car & I'd give him $400 when he got here with it, he said it didn't work that way. I laughed & told him I didn't believe his bullshit & too shove it up his ass & of course he hung up, damn scammer never give up, lazy M-F's should work for their money like I did & I live on my s.s.i.

Are my testicles black?
?
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" See More
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"

A nurse registering a new patient asked, When is your birthday? August 22, the patient replied. The nurse asked, what year/ Every year, the patient replied!

"Both had a bad day" A police officer stopped a motorist that was speeding down main street. Officer, the man said, I can explain why I was speeding! Shut up said the cop, I'm going to let you cool off in jail until the chief gets back. But Officer, I just want to say... & I said shut up! You're going to jail! A few hours later the cop told his prisoner, you're lucky, the chief is at his daughter's wedding & he'll be in a good mood when he gets back. Don't count on it said the driver, "I'm the Groom"!