Important Tax Advice/Economic Stimulus
Sometime this year we taxpayers will likely receive another economic stimulus. It is indeed a very exciting program and I'll explain it by using a Q&A format:
Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money? See More
A: From the taxpayers.
Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: Isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut Up!
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy with your stimulus check.
Use it wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
If you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
If you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
If you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead keep the money in America by:
Spending it at a yard sale or
Going to a ballgame or
Spending it on prostitutes or
Beer, Kentucky bourbon,
Tattoos, or live music.
(These are the only American business still operating in the U.S.)
Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met
at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.