Intimate Partner Stalkers
Once the relationship ends, this group of stalkers, fearing they will lose their identity and self-worth, often become desperate to re-establish the dominance and control they wielded during the relationship. If they find this isn't possible they can become suicidal, homicidal or both. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics report Female Victims of Violent Crime, in 29 % of all violence against women by a lone offender the perpetrator was an intimate. Women are about seven times more likely than men to experience violence committed by an intimate, and female victims of violence by an intimate are more often injured seriously enough to require medical attention than are females victimized by a stranger. Intimate partner stalking can end in much worse than just injury. It can end in death if the stalkers cannot regain the control they so intensely and desperately need.
Many intimate partner stalkers who have spent years dominating and controlling their partner simply cannot face the prospect that the people they've controlled for so long have successfully gotten away -- have proven themselves stronger than the stalkers. One former stalker wrote in his diary, "I couldn't live with myself thinking or knowing she had won, or she got me. No! This is war." Tragically his victim was murdered.
According to Linden Gross in her book To Have or to Harm, "We all have problems with rejection, especially if we're emotionally invested in a relationship. For the majority of us, however, rejection doesn't imply devastation. Even though the pain, however excruciating, our identities stay intact, our sense of self-worth bruised, perhaps, but still operational. This isn't so, however, for intimate partner stalkers. Because of their need for total control over someone, when the relationship breaks up their world is devastated. Their personality disorders won't allow them to accept rejection."
While this kind of stalker may or may not have psychological disorders, all clearly have personality disorders. A few of these personality disorders, according to the National Victim Center include:
1. Socially maladjusted and inept
2. Emotionally immature
3. Often subject to feeling of powerlessness
4. Unable to succeed in relationship by socially acceptable means
5. Jealousy bordering paranoia
6. Extremely insecure about themselves
7. Often suffering from low self esteem
According to experts, intimate partner stalkers can be the most dangerous types of stalker because they often have a history of violence against their victim, and consequently feel totally uninhibited about using more or heightened violence in an effort to get them back. The stalkers know that violence has worked for them in the past, and so they have no reason to believe that it won't work again. Also, intimate partner stalkers know their victim well: their family, their place of employment, their recreational activities, and so forth. They know where to find their victim.
Intimate partner stalkers, because of the dominance and control once held over their victim, often have the mind set that the victim is their property, to do with as they wish, and to reclaim in any way they see fit. And, believing that their lives won't be worth living if they can't recapture the victim as their property, they often feel they have nothing to lose by using extreme measures. Consequently, these stalkers feel totally justified in doing just about anything in an effort to regain control over the victim. Since the stalker believes the victim belongs to them, they show no regard for restraining orders, and may instead be infuriated by them, feeling they are being denied their God-given rights.
SAY NO ONCE