| 07Glideman's Stats |
| Views | 5418 |
| Ranking | 1180 of 182114 members |
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 | 07Glideman |
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| Looking for: |
Friends, riding partners
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Introduction:
"Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression come from what source it may." General Sam Houston
Howdy,
If I had see'd ya comin'
I'da knowed what to do,
I'da rized up my hand,
And wove at you.
NOTICE: THERE IS A LOT OF GOOD INFORMATION CONTAINED IN MY PROFILE...AND SOME OF IT IS TRUE!
I am unassuming, non controlling, uncontrollable and sorta laid back. I have a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor and love to ride anytime. I have been riding Harleys since 1962 and have logged some 750,000 miles without an accident. Road trips and day trips are my favorite type of riding. I quit the poker runs and bar hopping many years ago. I am an Christian author, poet, woodworker, biker, photographer, businessman, humorist, theologian, grandfather guitarist and teacher. I am low key and easy going yet passionate and totally dedicated to the things I do and to my beliefs.
I was in the corporate business world and a photographer most of my life. I was also a lifeguard for a while, but some blue kid got me fired. I have a son who rides and 3 grand kids and a boatload of other relatives whose names I can't remember. They say when a man gets old three things happen to him. First, he forgets peoples names, then he forgets to zip up his pants, and then...he forgets to zip down his pants!!! One good thing about a bad memory though is that you can hide your own Easter eggs. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for the little people who tell me what to do.
I tend to be a practical guy. There are people who are looking for the meaning of life in the cosmic universe, but I'm still trying to figure out how to keep my muffler from falling off. OK...Well, anyway, everyone in our family gets along well. I think people should be nice to each other, and like they say, if you can't say something nice about someone...you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.
One day I heard my doorbell ring. I opened the door and saw a small snail stuck on the doorbell. I picked it up and threw it as far I could. Three years later, the bell rings again. I opened the door and saw the same snail. The snail said “Hey man...what the hell was that all about?”
I was told once that I'm a very sexy guy, and then for no reason, the guy's seeing eye dog bit me. Then they crossed the street and the dog crossed on the red light and almost got the poor guy hit by a car. Then he proceeded to give him a dogie biscuit. I told him "I wouldn't reward that dog for doing that, he almost got you killed" He said "I'm not rewarding him, I'm giving him a dogie biscuit to find out where his mouth is, and when I find out where his mouth is...I'm going to kick his teeth down his throat.
I never used drugs, and I don't drink. I have a decent house, a nice SUV and my dog Spot is gone now (I spilled spot remover on him and he went away) so now I have a lot of time to travel. I had old Spot for 12 years before I knew what kind of dog he was. Some guy told me that he was a Kenardly. I said A WHAT?? He said yeah, you know, you kenardly tell what he is!!!
I am honest and straight forward with people and, as bad as I hate to admit it, somewhat of a romantic. I love kids, puppies, flowers, horses and Moon Pies. I think they are the most beautiful things that God ever created (next to women of course).
I am so old fashioned that kids think I'm original and cool. One day my 5 year old granddaughter was sitting by me and she reached over and felt my face and said "Grandpa did God make you?" I said "Yes, he did honey, a long time ago." Then she said "Did God make me too?" I said yes he did but not very long ago." Then she felt her face and said..."He's gettin' better ain't he?"
I have learned two great wisdom's in my life. 1- Never call a woman a bitch who is holding a torque wrench and 2-Don't open the door when you're making hard boiled eggs in a microwave!!
I like country music, and just about everything except head banging stuff. If you think I look overweight in my photos, don't you believe it. I am not. So who are you going to believe, me...or your own eyes?
For now, I am just looking for someone to ride and go to rally's with, (I can drive really slow if you can bite the weenie) but if something more happens down the road that's ok too (maybe). I really don't care too much what someone looks like as long as you don't scare me. I don't care if you are a little fat but I've been having this horrible reoccurring nightmare that I picked up Cindy Crawford on my bike and she turns into Rosie O'Donald.
Speaking of Rosie, she use to be so happy and gay, but now she's not happy anymore. I heard that she was planning on solving the flooding problem in New Orleans. She plans to put a dyke on every street corner!
I'm not too concerned about age either but I went out with this one woman who was so old that, when she went to school, they didn't have history!! She was so fat too that the football team could measure first downs with her bra...and when she stepped on a scale a card came out that said "one at a time please."
I took my bike to the Harley shop recently to have the brakes fixed. I came back a few days later and they told me "We're sorry sir, we couldn't fix your brakes, so we made your horn louder!!
So, if you are a nice lady and you like the sound of a motorcycle horn, that would be good, and if you can two-step that would be a big plus. Also, it would be good if you are an upbeat person because the last lady I went out with was like a cheerleader for a train wreck!
I really enjoy talking to intelligent women, but I don't like drama or argumentative people. I avoid them like the plague. Some women make me more nervous than Jesse Jackson on fathers day. When I get nervous, then I get confused. In fact, sometimes I get so confused that I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt!
My divorce was worse than the Spanish inquisition, so if you are Isabella, the drama queen from Hell, go bug someone else. <---<< Write that down. I'll give you some names.
I don't expect perfection, by any means, but I do admire loyalty, honesty, a sense of humor, humility, integrity, and faith in a woman. So, if you're looking for a nice ride, former dog owner and a friend who thinks you can do no wrong, look me up. If you are looking for a committed relationship and marriage, you will find that I have high standards, so be prepared to live up to the standards you seek.
Till then, shut your gate, ride safe, and keep the shiny side up.~
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
MY DEEPEST THOUGHTS:
When I was seven, I told my friend Timmy Barker I would give him a million dollars if he would eat an earthworm. He ate the worm, but the joke was on him. I never gave him the million dollars. As of last week, all I had given him was $197,840.
As a small child I had a Dog named Charlie. He was my very best friend. One day I found him dead. I cried and cried for three days. Finally my Dad said "Don't you know that Charlie went to Heaven?" I said "No he didn't, what would God want with a dead dog?
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
A WORD OF WISDOM:
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
To be is to do...Voltaire
To do is to be...Descartes
Do be do be do...Frank Sinatra
WHOSE ASS I'D LIKE TO KICK:
Al Gore, Al Franken, Al Capone, Al Qaeda, Al Jazeera, Al Jolson, Al Asad, Al Borland, Al Bundy, Al Davis, Al Sharpton, Al Yankovich and Rosie O'Donald.
FAVORITE MOVIES:
Wild Hogs...and that other one, cant remember the name of it, where this scarecrow guy caught on fire and some broad picked him up with a robot looking guy with a funnel on his head and a chickenshit lion and went to some place where an evil witch was doing some kinda bad crap to a bunch of midgets or something so they all raised hell then went home in a tornado or whatever. Only reason I liked it was because it was in color.
FAVORITE SONG'S:
I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It.
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Find Someone Who Will
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
FACTS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS:
# When the Boogey man goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
# Chuck Norris has counted to infinity - twice.
# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
FAVORITE SPORT:
Midget bowling
SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD TELL KIDS:
Don't ever drink coffee or your children will be born naked and illiterate. Tea is even worse. One time an Indian drank 4 gallons of tea and drowned that night in his teapee!!!
Everything about you is hereditary. For example, if your parents couldn't have children, then neither can you!
-IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH-
The Pillsbury dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Count Chocula, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Caption Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemimia delivered the eulogy and lovingly described described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough and his two children John Dough and Jane Dough plus they had one in the oven. He was also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.The funeral was held today at 350 for about 20 minutes. It has been a really crumby day for the family.
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Turn ons:
Smart, laid back, talented, appreciative women with integrity. Real, down to earth women. |
Turn offs:
Smart asses, dumb asses, horses asses, kiss asses, users, non-directional shallow drunk air head sex queens with plastic boobs, drama queens, gold diggers, attention seekers, idiots, liars, druggies, cell phone addicts and non-stop party girls. |
Ideal:
Someone intelligent, positive, helpful, faithful and loves to ride. | |
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Activities:
Riding
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Interests:
Women, Guitars, Writing, Traveling, Woodworking, Bikes
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Favorite Music:
Classic country and rock
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Favorite TV Shows:
Dirty Jobs, Home Improvement
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Favorite Movies:
Anything with a bike or a cowboy.
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Favorite Books:
Mine
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Favorite Quotes:
"I am the resurrection and the life...and whosoever lives and believes in me will never die..."
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback.
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns
"I know that I'm always right. I thought I was wrong once...but I was mistaken"
"I'm not a member of any organized political party...I'm a Democrat." Will Rogers
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." Yogi Berra
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About Me:
I am not perfect but I am a gentleman, somewhat reserved, respectful, even tempered and an original thinker. I have integrity and I am honest.
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